FASHION UNDER JARGON ATTACK!

Fakes are never in fashion, but apparently fake fashion words are. Fashion hybrid words—words that combine to describe two dissimilar fashion products—are flowing into mainstream use, from the original hybrid, the “skort” (skirts with built-in shorts), to fashion’s current obsession, “jeggings” or “treggings,” which are essentially leggings that look like jeans or trousers (kind of, not really).

If you love fashion and you love words, maybe this trend won’t annoy you. You might have already started calling your ankle boots “shooties” or your jean shorts “jorts.” But then again, referring to your harem shorts as “spants” (hybrid of “skirt” and “pants”) may just be pushing the limit.

At any rate, as fall approaches, you’ll most likely be hearing the terms “swacket” and “shacket”—the former is a cross between a sweater and jacket; the later a shirt and jacket—thrown around (much too carelessly, methinks) by mass clothing retailers and magazines. Oh, and let’s not forget those “glittens”! You’ll need these special mittens—the kind that roll back to reveal gloved fingers—come winter.

Perhaps the style mavens out there are getting lazy, or retailers are hoping to boost sales by imposing novelty on otherwise un-novel items. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s articles like this that spread the unwanted use of such unnecessary terms.

In that case, forget everything I just said.